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THE GIRL
a beautiful disaster..

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ABOUT A GIRL
story of her life..

I feel old now Im 24.. Pass the anti-wrinkle cream!

Ive learned alot over the past few years.. Ive learnt that most things arent ever as they seem.. People change.. Promises dont last.. But life still goes on..

I have an acute fear of odd numbers! I hate red hot drinks or food but will only take red hot baths or showers. I like my baths with copious amounts of pink bubbles.

I dont think I could go one day without listening to Music. SERIOUSLY! My favorite musicians of all time are The Carpenters and Paramore. Odd I know.

I miss the nights we put the world to rights on back door step. I like my Tea with milk and 2 sugars. I can play the flute and the drums. What a combo!

I officially suck at computer games!! ESPECIALLY the Wii! ;)

I hate pretty much all photos of me.. I see flaws I cannot stand in every single one of them.. People assume as I have so many that I love pics of myself.. That couldnt be the furthest thing from the truth.. I just think that these days are ones I want to remember when I am old.. You dont get it? Thats ok.. Dont sweat it!

Ive always wanted one of those Brooke Davis/P Sawyer kinda friendships.

Cherry Cokes from Sonic with extra whole cherries are the best drink ever. FACT. Im currently a lota bit obsessed with CSI & One Tree Hill.

I want to go to the moon.

I need to meet Kat Von D! If I die without a tattoo from her, my life wont be complete..

Lime body spray reminds me of year 6 of Primary School when we went on a school trip to London.

I live my life by song lyrics. Im sure I could write my life story in those little square emoticon thingys & I think Floyd laughs at me.

I LOVE photos & photoshop.. I cant wait to buy my first SLR this summer! I want to take amazing photos that mean something to someone! ♥

Converse for life!

I think religion and politics are a waste of time but some people have to hold onto them to get through the days.. But if that makes them happy, who am I to judge. I hate preachers, if I wanted your opinion, id ask.. Quit getting all up in my business.

I hate homophobes and racists.. Its not big and its not clever!

Ellen Degeneres is THE best talk show host. FACT!

I think that the English Justice System sucks! If you get a life sentence in Prison, if you play it good while you are in you could serve just 12 years.. Since when was 12 years a life time? DUMB! Life sentence should equal.. The rest of your life!

People say that the beauty of a woman should not be defined by the clothes that she wears and the makeup she applies.. I say.. It it makes you happy sweetheart, go right ahead!

I want to do something great with my life.. I want a job where what I do means something to someone.. I just want to be happy, and see other people happy.. Thats all that matters..

CURRENT FIXES
the little things..

weheartit.com
Lastfm.com
Twitter
Kat Von D
Pandora Braclets
Vanilla
Cheryl Cole
B&W Photos
Photoshop
CSI
Liquid Eyeliner
Fake Tan
One Tree Hill
Sexy Heels
The L Word
Diet Cherry Coke
Dr Pepper Zero
Cadbury Creme Eggs
Photography
Lush Baths
Black Nail Varnish
Nanna Blankets

LINKS
stalk me..

facefuck
myspaz
tweet tweet
we♥it

QUOTES
to live by..

because its only when youre tested that you truly discover who you are. and its only when youre tested that you discover who you can be. the person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life has.. ♥

most of our lives are a series of images, they pass us by like towns on a highway. but sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. we know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.. ♥

have you ever wondered what marks our time here? if one life can really make an impact on the world... or if the choices we make matter? i believe they do. and i believe that one man can change many lives. for better... or worse.. ♥

do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. the world you desire can be won. it exists. it is real. it is possible. it's yours.. ♥

we all make different choices and we need different things. but i think eventually we learn to define happiness for ourselves, on our own terms, in spite of the pain other people have caused us.. ♥

Saturday, June 20, 2009
4:19 PM
Stuck In A Moment..

The sun blazes down on a place where no words can speak accuratly emotion. Where silence knows no end. Where you can find peaceful moments in this hectic world. Even as the cars fly down the street infront of you, you still do not break from the moment, lost in your emotion and un naturally unaware of your surroundings. Nothing can reach into your soul and break you away from that.. Nothing but the touch of a human, who feels and understands, that which you feel..

Words need not be spoken in this place. You can sit here unable to comprehend how you are going to rise to your feet and step away from her place, but them the smile of a stranger offers the knowledge that you are not alone, that though for that moment yoy feel completely alone in your grief and reminiscing, you are not.

I find myself once again lost in this place, remembering Griselda for everything she was, and everything she brought to my life. Mid thought I sneeze.. A young boy looks up from decorating a grave with his Mom across she cemetery "Bless you.." I hear.. "Thank you.." Thank you for reaching me.. Compassion. 2 simple words.. Who would have known coming from a stranger they could mean so much and make you so appreciative of simple words and emotion.

After an hour long moment, I timidly rise to my feet, say goodbye for now to our Princess and step away. I sink into the car and find myself driving so slowly away from her. Breathe.. I realize I am not ready to leave her yet. I pull over and climb to a quiet shaded spot where I find myself.

I catch myself as the memories of laying our Princess to rest come to mind.. I try to block them out with memories of the amazing times we shared, but for a split moment, the saddest memories push through to the forefront of my mind. They offer a stark reality, never until this moment have I been able to accept that Griselda is gone from our arms. Ive stopped myself from visiting her before because denial was easier, but this day, and this unexpected moment finally bring the reality to light.

Sadness streams through my body and I find myself unable to express, what it is, that I feel.. I find myself staring out over all of the flowers that mark a resting place to somebodys loved one and I realize in a second how precious and fragile life really is..

I realize tnat I have never missed anyone, nor longed to hear their voice as much as I do with Griselda.. She touched my soul and changed my very being in ways I never knew to be true. She may have only been 8 years old and stood as tall as my hip, small and fragile but she was wise and more true tpo what this world is really about that anyone I have ever met or known in my time.

Griselda will forever be my reason to better myself and to live my life with love no matter what challenges I face.

I love her eternally.